


Still Peeta

by herainab



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alzheimer's Disease, F/M, Family, Grandparents! Everlark, Married! Everlark, Older Katniss & Peeta, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:39:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6175165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herainab/pseuds/herainab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I deal with the brain, illnesses of the brain such as yours and I’ve compared your prior brain trauma to other injuries, other similar brain trauma to try and understand the later cause and effect to the brain. I’ve been studying memory loss in brain trauma patients, that was why I asked you all those questions yesterday because I’ve found a link.”</p><p>“You think my memory is failing me?” I ask.</p><p>He nods merely. “I’m sorry Peeta. You’re already experiencing it now.”</p><p>When Peeta is diagnosed with Alzheimer's he tries to hang on to his sense of self for as long as he can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Peeta

**Author's Note:**

> This is a monster of a story. One I wrote over a weekend. I was inspired by Still Alice and straight away felt parallels towards our favorite couple. And once I started thinking, we don't know what effect the hijacking could have on Peeta's brain as he grows older and I thought this was an interesting post-canon idea. 
> 
> I hate to think of Katniss and Peeta suffering but this story overall is about love, the strong love they have for each other, the love they have for their children and grandchildren. Love conquers all, especially when the family is already strongly connected.

“Katniss?” I call out to her, hanging my light winter coat on the hook by the front door and kicking my boots off. The house was oddly quiet for a Friday afternoon.

The younger two were still at school and due home within the next hour. Maybe she was out in the woods still. She seemed to get lost out there and spend long hours breathing in the fresh air and clutching the undergrowth that littered the ground. She told me it was comforting being out there, still years after we had finally returned home from the Capitol.

“Up here!”

I follow the sound of her voice up to their bedroom taking the stairs slowly with my knee groaning in protest. It had been aching all day today.

I hear the water running from their bathroom as I near the room, stepping into the bedroom, stripping out of my shirt.

“Happy birthday.” I hear her murmur with my shirt covering my face.

I whip it off quickly, finding me wife standing there in her sheer green slip with matching panties on. It was my favorite lingerie set still to this day and it still had the same effect on me.

She smiles at me from the doorway of the bathroom, her hair flowing in soft tousled waves and her olive legs on display.

I wrap her up in my arms, kissing her deeply as I press her body to mine.

“No need to rush, Willow is intercepting the kids and they’re going to do something in town.”

“God she’s a good daughter.”

She chuckles against my lips and I walk us backwards towards the bed, laying her down across the bed gently.

She traces her fingers over my chest softly, the afternoon sun is close to setting and the kids are due home soon.

“We should probably get up and start on dinner.” I murmur.

“I wish we could just stay here for a little while longer.” She admits to me.

“Aren’t Monday’s enough?” I ask with a slight chuckle.

“No, they’re not.”

I had changed my roster to spend one full day with Katniss when our youngest finally started school nine years ago. We usually spent the full day in bed together, scrambling out when we heard the kids heading down the pathway home.

She slips from my embrace, kissing me quickly on the cheek and rolling out of bed. She slips into the bathroom and I remain there for a while, trying to figure out how I became so lucky.

I sit up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. I had left my prosthetic on instead of taking it off and I wince as I rub the pain running throughout my inner thigh.

“You alright?” Katniss ask. “You’re knee playing up?”

I nod. “Yeah, it’s been aching all day.”

“They did say you’d be due for a new one soon.” Katniss tells me concerned as she kneels in front of me. “We should probably schedule a trip to the Capitol.”

I hated going back there but our trips had become frequent in the last few years for medical check ups and doctor visits.

“I’ll call first thing tomorrow.” She tells me a she rubs my leg. “Why don’t you use the crutch for the rest of the night? Relieve the pressure.”

I smile and undertake the task of removing my prosthetic. The Capitol doctors asked if they wanted to rebuild my leg with my own regenerated DNA but I declined. This was part of my past, who I once was and now am. It’s a reminder of every little thing I’ve accomplished. It shows my children my scars, flaws and history. Even Katniss’. A reformed leg would take away my three decades worth of self-rehabilitation. My prosthetic had become a part of me.

She hands me my crutch and clothes and helps me into my pants. I slip into my soft red sweater and we head down the stairs together.

The front door bursts open as we get to the bottom step and I smile at the incoming people. My family. My children as they step through the front door.

“Happy birthday daddy!” My youngest says, embracing me in a hug.

“Thank you Jas.”

“Happy birthday Dad.” My son says.

“Thanks Rye.”

“Happy birthday Dad.”

I smile at my grown up daughter. She’s grown so quickly it’s hard to grasp the fact that she’s 21 now and due to marry in late Spring.

“Thank you Willow.”

Her fiancé greets me with a handshake and I thank him before inviting him inside.

“Unpack your bags and clean up.” Katniss tells them. “Dinner will be ready soon.”

Jasmine’s the first one downstairs and she offers to get me a drink and nurses me as she notices I’m using the crutch. She’s a healer. She healed Katniss and I. We knew the minute she arrived, our lives were complete, our broken hearts nearly whole again and over the last 14 years she’s graced us in our continual healing process.

“I’m ok Jasmine.” I assure her. “Why don’t you see if Mom needs a hand?”

She nods, kissing my cheek and goes to her mother whom quickly throws together the rest of dinner. Rye join us soon after, Willow setting the table and Rye and Jacob, Willow’s fiancé play me in a game of cards.

“Can someone go and get Haymitch please?” Katniss asks.

“I’m on it.” Rye tells us as he heads out the backdoor.

Haymitch joins us at the table and we all share a meal, the kids telling us about their day, their plans for the weekend and current assignments and homework they have. Haymitch offers little to the conversation and sits beside Willow.

He hates to admit it but Willow softened him, I had witnessed it from the first time Haymitch met her, holding our newborn in his shaky hands and falling in love with the girl, eventually vowing sobriety. He offered to look after her, visited more often and treated her with so much love and adoration. He loved Willow so much and when we had Rye and later Jasmine, he fell in love even more. But Willow was still his favorite and they shared a bond Katniss and I didn’t understand.

And we knew how much of a hard time he was accepting her entering adulthood and marrying Jacob. His girl was no longer the little girl with two braids who used to sing to the birds and go for walks with him through the meadow. She was 21, engaged, had a house and already talking about her own family.

Willow, Rye and Jasmine clear the table and start on the dishes and Katniss prepares the ‘secret cake’ with the candles, Haymitch leans over to me.

“You’re knee hurting?”

“Yeah. We’re going to call tomorrow and organise a visit.”

“It’s time for a new prosthetic. You’d think with the technology they’d make one that lasted longer than they do.”

“You’d think.”

A cake with a number 50 candle is placed in front of me and they sing happy birthday to me.

“Make a wish daddy.” Jasmine reminds me as she rests her hand on my shoulder.

I silently wish for good health and a happy family and I blow out the candle. Willow cuts up the rest of the cake and dishes it amongst us all and we dig in, listening to Willow talk about her job in the Justice Hall. She already had a high-ranking position as an executive in the community side of things. She was in charge of almost 100 employees and was running the department effectively.

I smile at how proud she is of her career and squeeze Katniss’ hand under the table. We still had to pinch ourselves each day to remember how lucky we were to have our children.

I’m given my presents to open and I thank them all after I have opened them and Rye walks Haymitch home. The now elderly man still curses us for giving him a babysitting for the short walk.

Willow and Jacob say goodbye and head on home, hand in hand together. Jasmine and Rye head on upstairs to bed, leaving us alone.

Katniss and I share a cup of tea on the couch, cuddled together under a blanket together. She rests her head on my shoulder and throws her legs over my lap. This was a common occurrence for us of a night time. The children get ready for bed and we cuddle on the couch catching up on our day and just sometimes sitting in silence with each other.

“Did you enjoy your birthday?” She asks me when we’re curled up in bed.

“I did. Thank you.”

“Anytime.” She mumbles against my chest and I kiss her temple, squeezing her tighter to my body.

She’s asleep shortly after and I lie there, staring at the ceiling trying to figure out why I’m suddenly anxious.

* * *

 “I’ll need 10 units of the white flour. 5 units of wholemeal. Two units of castor sugar. Three of white sugar.” I say to my supplier on the phone. “Um…”

_“Peeta, you alright?”_

“Yeah, sorry, got distracted for a second.” I tell him. “I’ve had a mind blank…”

_“The mixed grains as well?”_

“Yes, a unit of mixed grain.” I tell him. “That’ll be all.”

He reads it back to me over the phone and I confirm the order before hanging up.

“Your wife is here.” Theo tells me. He’s been with me since he was 14 and had a knack for kneading dough and making pastries.

I set the phone down and head out to the front of the bakery. She’s engaged in conversation with Lindsey Greene, she works the front of house and has a crush on Rye.

Katniss looks up and smiles at me before coming round to greet me. Kissing me quickly on the lips. I take us to my office and close the door for some privacy.

“They can take you on Thursday morning.” She tells me.

“That soon?”

“They had a cancellation.” She tells me. “I said to hold it for us and I’d get back to them.”

“I assumed it would have been another month or so.”

She frowns and looks down at my knee. “How is it today?”

“I’ve been off of it for most of the day.”

“You can’t keep pushing yourself.” She reminds me. “We’re not as young as we used to be.”

I smirk at her and pull her onto my lap. “I know we’re not but just because we’re getting older doesn’t mean we have to slow down on some things.”

“We can’t.” She whispers as I kiss her throat.

“Hasn’t stopped us before.” I remind her. “I’m pretty this is how we conceived Jasmine.”

She moans at the memory of me taking her on my desk 15 years ago, on the morning of the Harvest Festival. Effie had come to town to visit and was watching Rye and Willow while Katniss and I escaped to my office for some alone time. The bakery was busy, customers coming and going for their orders and my bakers preparing dough for the night time celebration.

“I can’t be long. I sent Jasmine to pick up the groceries.”

“We know how to be quick.” I remind her, grinding up into her core.

I unbutton her blouse slowly and kiss a path as I expose her skin.

“Ok.” She finally caves.

I push aside the cup of her bra, licking her warm skin and quickly undoing her pants.

My desk phone rings and I groan against her chest. She chuckles and reaches for my phone, handing it to me.

“Peeta speaking.”

_“Hi Dad, it’s me. Is Mom there?” I hear Willow ask._

“Yeah she is. Is something wrong?”

_“I’ve just been trying to find her. Could you put her on?”_

I cup the mouthpiece and hold out the phone. “Willow.”

She takes the handpiece from me and brings it to her ear. I redo her buttons back up and she thanks me with a smile.

“I just called in to see your father.” She says. “I can be there in ten. I’ve got Jasmine at the store.” She tells our eldest. “Do you want me to send her here for the time being?”

“What’s wrong?” I mouth to her.

Katniss shrugs her shoulders with a concerned look on her face. “I’ll see you soon love.”

She ends the call and sets the phone down on my desk.

“Is she alright?”

“I don’t know. She was trying to keep cool like nothing was wrong but something is.”

I nod and help her up off of my lap.

“Can Jas hang out here until I come back?”

“She can.”

Katniss kisses me quickly on the lips and smiles. “So do you want to head to the Capitol for Thursday?”

“We’ll see what’s up with Willow first, hey?”

“Ok.” She nods and we head out the office to the front of the bakery. “What time will you be home?”

“2:30.”

“See you later.”

Jasmine finds me five minutes later with the groceries she was sent for and we place them in the cool room. We sit down in my office with the strawberry and cream tarts and her smile grows wider with each mouthful. This was her favorite treat and had been a part of the menu since she was two years old.

“Mom say what’s wrong with Willow?”

“No. I guess we’ll find out later.”

“I think she’s pregnant Dad.”

“Why do you think that?”

“I overheard her and Jacob yesterday talking. I went to use the bathroom and they were in their room getting changed talking about it being too soon. She wanted to be married before it happened.”

“Right.” I say, trying to comprehend what she just told me. “Well if it is true then we’ll support her. She is old enough to have a child.”

“I know.” Jasmine smiles. “She just seemed panicked.”

“Most mother’s and father’s are. It’s a big thing welcoming a child.”

“You and Mom were scared?”

“We were. And after everything that had happened to us before… it was scary for us.”

“You and Mom are great parents. Despite what happened before we were born, you are still admirable people.”

“Thanks sweetie.”

“I wouldn’t wish for another set of parents.” She admits to me. “You two are one of a kind and I like that. I like having parents who have been through so much and show me you can still survive anything. Each day is worth waking for. I admire your strength and commitment to survival. And even on your bad days, it makes me love you both even more because it reminds me that you are both human. You’ve survived.”

I embrace her, wrapping her in my arms tightly and squeezing her as I try to not cry. Jasmine sobs into my chest and I soothe her like I have since I first held her.

“You three have helped us survive better than we had been. You three saved us.”

I finally let go of her and hand her a tissue to dab at her damp eyes and nose and kiss her forehead.

“Are you in pain dad?” Jasmine asks me. “You seem to be struggling more on your leg?”

“It’s time for a new prosthetic.” I tell her, touching my knee instinctively.

“Mom rang the doctor’s in The Capitol.”

“I know, I was hoping for a later appointment rather than one on Thursday. I need time to prepare for the trip to.”

“Do you get stress nightmares leading up to the trip to The Capitol?”

“I do.” She knows all about my nightmares and flashbacks. She’s only been around for two but was too young to remember it. I haven’t had a flashback since she was four and before Katniss and my last trip to The Capitol. “I’m trying to not be too anxious over this trip but I hope, this will be the last one there for the rest of my life.”

“Me too.”

Katniss meets us at the bakery when Theo sends us off early. He’ll take care of close. I thank him and tell him I’ll see him on Tuesday.

I carry a bag of groceries and Jasmine the other. Katniss links her fingers with mine and we head on home. She hasn’t said anything to us relating to Willow and I don’t ask. She’ll tell me when she’s ready.

Rye is home from his venture out to the woods. He and a friend had found the joy in exploring the woods and liked to spend Saturday’s navigating the woods. He hunted as well, practiced making snares and took up his mother’s job of foraging and supplying the town with fresh game. Katniss had long given up hunting and now enjoyed the peace the woods offered.

“Clean up Rye, you smell of dead bird.” Katniss tells Rye, squeezing his cheek. Rye sticks his tongue out at his mother and sets off to shower upstairs.

Jasmine unpacks the groceries while Katniss and I sit down in my studio.

“Is Willow alright?” I ask her.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t seem so sure.” I say. “Is she pregnant?”

“How’d you know?”

“Jas.” I smile. “She overheard a conversation yesterday.” I tell her. “So are we going to become grandparents?”

Katniss nods with a beaming smile and latches her arms around my neck. “I started crying when she told me.”

I smile and rub her back. “This is wonderful news.”

“A surprise but a wonderful surprise.”

“Was she freaking out?”

“She was worried at what we’d say.” Katniss tells me. “I told her we couldn’t be happier. She thinks she’ll be able to hide it for the wedding.”

“She’s got five weeks until the wedding. Unless she’s carrying twins or triplets, she’ll be fine.” I laugh. “We’re going to have ourselves a grandchild.”

“We are.”

Katniss sits back in my lap and I take in her smile. “Who’d have thought that this day would come so quickly.”

“I know. It’s kind of nice though.”

I tell her to book us in for the appointment on Thursday. The sooner we visit, the quicker we’ll be back home to help Willow prepare for the wedding.

I leave Katniss to organise our trip, booking our train tickets, accommodation and appointments with our doctors. Her visits weren’t as invasive as mine. They were just regular check-ups, where as mine were more invasive. Blood tests, brain scans, brain readings and anything else they felt the need to check as I hardly visited. Our doctor back home was more than capable of seeing to me and was an excellent doctor. She just wasn’t as well equipped as the hospitals in The Capitol.

We tell Jasmine and Rye over dinner we’ll be headed back The Capitol on Wednesday morning and they’ll be staying with Willow and Jacob for the duration of their trip.

“Will you be back in time for the wedding?” Rye asks.

“Of course. We should only be there two weeks tops.” I assure them both. “Theo will be in charge of the bakery while I’m absent.”

The kids sleep at Willow’s on Tuesday night, leaving us alone in our big house.

“Are you nervous?” I ask Katniss. She’s been quiet all day.

“Yes.”

“Don’t be nervous. I’ll be fine. It’s just a refit and a bit of general therapy to get me used to the new prosthetic and a few exams and we’ll be back home again.”

She nods against my chest but it’s not enough to convince her.

* * *

 We’re greeted at the platform by a private driver who’ll take us to our hotel. He grabs our bags and leads us to his car. The platform is relatively quiet and those who were on board ignore us, just like everyone else seems to these days. We slide into the back seat, Katniss resting her head against my shoulder as we’re driven to our hotel. I watch The Capitol go by and keep the building anxiety at bay.

Our driver pulls up outside the hotel and I help Katniss out. A member of staff grabs our bags from the trunk and I check us in.

“How are we today Mr and Mrs Mellark?” The receptionist asks.

“Good. Tired but good.”

She smiles. “It is exhausting the trip across country. I’ve done it a few times to see my family in 11.” She tells us. “Everything is good. You’ll be in the penthouse.”

“We don’t need it.” I tell her. “We’re fine with just a bed.”

“Ms Trinket called in. She wants nothing but the best for the two of you during your stay.”

I smile a sad smile and don’t bother arguing.

We head up to our room without speaking and enter the penthouse. It’s not as extravagant as the tribute centre but still too big for us. Our bags are already in the bedroom and a note.

_Don’t be a stranger._

_Effie_

“We better organise a day to see her.” Katniss says through a yawn as she kicks off her shoes. “It’ll be nice to see her.”

Room service wakes us for dinner and with a small appetite we eat a little bit of our dinner, overindulge in the fresh strawberries and chocolate fondue and sink into the warm water of the bath.

“Don’t fall asleep.” I jostle her slightly.

“Sorry.” She chuckles.

“It’s Ok. You can sleep on me if you’d like.”

“If I sleep now I won’t sleep tonight.” She tells me. “Tell me a story.”

“Want to hear my speech for Willow’s wedding?”

“Ok.” She says and turns to face me, her chest lying against my waist.

“It’s still quite rough and this is off the top of my head.”

“It’s fine. I want to see if you’ll make me cry.”

I smile and say my speech. I wipe the tears from Katniss’ cheeks when I finish and lean down to kiss her.

“That was beautiful.”

“It’s still rough.”

“It’s still beautiful. She’ll love it.” Katniss sniffles. “If only I could create something that beautiful.”

“Everything you saw comes from here.” I tell her, pointing to her heart. “The kids love how meaningful everything is you tell them. You give them your heart all the time. Everything comes from a place of compassion from you. You’ll know what to say on the day.”

I kiss her again, deepening it and press her body against mine.

“I love you so much.” She murmurs against my lips.

* * *

 “Alright Peeta, remain still and focus on your breathing.” The technician tells me. I’ve had enough of these body scans to know what to do.

The slight humming is comforting and I focus on the deep breathing techniques I was taught years before.

“That’s good Peeta. Won’t be too much longer.”

Ten minutes later, I’m released from the machine and set back into a wheelchair. My prosthetic was taken off before the scan and it was easier being driven around the hospital in the wheelchair.

“How’s Katniss?”

“She’s still in with the doctor. You’ll see her soon.”

A neurologist sits before me and asks me questions. They’ve been on my case for fifteen years.

“I’m going to tell you a name and address and I’ll ask for it later on. Ok?”

I nod.

“Jon Black. 12 Victor Parade.”

“Jon Black. 12 Victor Parade.” I repeat and nod for the doctor to continue.

“Have you experienced any flashbacks?”

“None since the last time.”

“That’s good.” He notes. “Can you spell easel for me?”

“E-A-S-E-L.”

“And backwards.”

“L-E-S-A-E.”

“What are your children’s ages?”

“21, 17 and 14.”

“Tell me about your job at the bakery?”

“I’m the owner. I opened the bakery on Katniss’ 19th birthday. I built it from the rubble up on the original site of my family’s bakery. I used to do all the baking and Katniss did the financial side of it. She had a knack for that kind of stuff and it gave her something to do. She’s real good with numbers and figures. I eventually hired a couple of more staff and taught them the trick of the trade. Theo has been with me for nearly 30 years. He stepped up when I got married, had the kids and had bad days. I resumed to more of the financial side when Katniss had the kids. She helps me out some days.”

“Do you still bake?”

“I do. It’s therapy still to this day.”

“Can you repeat the name and address I told you earlier?”

“Jon Black. 12…. Um… sorry.”

“You’ve forgotten.”

“You distracted me with the story about the bakery.”

“Is it 12 Tribute Parade? 12 Victor Parade? 12 Capitol Parade? Or 12 Arena Parade?”

“I don’t know. Sorry.”

I watch the doctor note this down and start to panic.

“Is something wrong with me?”

“No. These tests are mandatory. Especially since you’ve turned fifty and you’re one of the only people who have survived such trauma to your brain. We’re ensuring you still have full cognitive function.” He tells me. “We’ll review your MRI and blood work and if something looks wrong we’ll get you back in.”

He sends me off to see my prosthetic specialist and I hardly listen to her speak about my new prosthetic.

“We should have it ready by tomorrow morning. I’ll schedule you in to fit it and make sure it’s comfortable.”

“Thank you.”

She sends me off and I find Katniss down in the waiting room.

“How’d it go?” I ask her.

“Quick and easy.” She tells me. “You?”

“Good. My new prosthetic should be ready tomorrow.”

“That’s good. We might be home by Sunday.”

We go for lunch in a downtown café and do a little bit of sight seeing.

“Effie wants to have dinner with us tonight.” She tells me.

“That’ll be nice.” I say. “She coming to the wedding still?”

“She is. Nearly everyone is.”

“Willow will love that.”

“She is so loved.”

“She brought a lot of people together. Restored friendships and faith.”

“Our children are something aren’t they?”

“They sure are.” I say. “Look.” I point across the road to the store and watch the smile widen on Katniss’ face.

She pulls me into the store and we look around. We had a smaller store at home now. A Capitol resident moved her store, giving District 12 the opportunity to buy brand new baby things. She also found her family here, marrying a medicine producer and starting her own family. The store was in in time for Jasmine and we had bought a few items from it.

Katniss had saved the children’s baby clothing, especially the handmade items for the grandchildren but we knew we wanted something special for him or her.

We walk out with a large bag filled with items and know Willow will shake her head at us when we present it to her.

There’s a message for us at the front desk left from the hospital.

“He called about twenty minutes ago.” The receptionist tells me. “He just asked if you could call him back.”

I take the note with the number and we go to our suite. Katniss goes to shower and I return my neurologists call.

_“Peeta, will you be able to come in tomorrow? Your tests results have come back abnormal.”_

“Of course.”

Katniss finds me in the same spot once she exits the bedroom and places her hand on my shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”

“My results have come back abnormal?”

“Which ones?”

“Neurology. He wants to see me tomorrow.”

“Ok.”

“Will you come in with me?”

She nods and kisses me softly. “Go get ready Peeta. If it was urgent he’d have asked you to go back in now.”

“I suppose.” I say. “Won’t be long.”

Effie wraps us in her arms and kisses our cheeks numerous times.

“So great to see you two again. I wish you’d have brought the children.”

“They have school and work. You’ll see them in a few weeks anyway.” Katniss reminds her.

“I know. It just feels like it’s been forever.”

She lives alone. She never married or had children. She instead immersed herself in teaching within the districts. Teaching them about the games, the history of the dark days and the second rebellion. She’s become our spokesperson since we were shipped back to District 12 and assures everything is right with us. This arrangement has lessened visits here as she has power of attorney to sign off on things we give her permission to.

She returns to us at 12 often, at first it was to ensure we were healthy and well and once she was sure we were fine it became visits to old friends, then for our wedding and then for the birth of our children later on. It kept us company and also Haymitch. He hated to admit how much he cared for her.

She serves us dinner and we fill her in. She asks about Willow and the wedding preparations. She asks about the kids, how they’re going in school and with life in general.

She’s pleased with everything we tell her and she goes on to tell us about the project she’s been working on now, something that would require our consent and then the kids.

“I understand if you don’t want to expose the kids but I think it’ll be good. There’s not a lot of Victor children around.”

“No there’s not.” Katniss says softly.

There are probably twenty at most. And that’s it.

“I’ll leave it until the wedding anyway.” She tells us. “Give you some time to think about it.”

* * *

“Peeta, your condition… case… it’s unheard of. We’re discovering things the same time you are. We’ve heard of some cases from year’s prior but nothing was as extreme as what they did to you. The way they brainwashed you was traumatic and with the lack of survivors and successful treatments, we’ve been doing the best we can and have been on our toes ready for anything that could happen.” The neurologist begins. “I deal with the brain, illnesses of the brain such as yours and I’ve compared your prior brain trauma to other injuries, other similar brain trauma to try and understand the later cause and effect to the brain. I’ve been studying memory loss in brain trauma patients, that was why I asked you all those questions yesterday because I’ve found a link.”

“You think my memory is failing me?” I ask.

He nods merely. “I’m sorry Peeta. You’re already experiencing it now.”

“How do you know?” Katniss asks. “You spent five minutes with him yesterday…”

“Katniss, I’ve been comparing his brain scans, the one he gets done in 12 since I started seeing him.” He explains and brings up my brain scans from nearly twenty years ago. “The red is the failing memory loss. He’s been fine up until last year. You can see the rapid effect it’s had on his brain and he’s now starting to show signs of memory loss.”

“He’s only just turned fifty.” Katniss cries. “He’s too young.”

“Katniss.” I say, gripping her hand.

“It’s early on-set. And the trauma he went through with the hijacking, could be the cause for the on-set memory loss. Like I said, there’s no other case to compare Peeta’s to. I’m truly sorry.”

“So it’s dementia?”

“No, Alzheimer’s. It’s effecting his memory and will effect his communication and thought control.”

I inhale a deep breath and squeeze Katniss’ hand tighter. “How long until I’m completely gone?”

“It’s progressing quick. Quicker than I’d like it to.”

“Is there anything to stop it?”

“No. I’m sorry.” He says. “I can expect by the beginning of next year he’ll have significant memory loss, it’s unknown to what extent but we’ll have to continue our testing and monitoring.”

“We have to come back here?”

“No. You can remain in 12 for those.”

I see the wetness in Katniss’ eyes and will myself to be strong for her.

“How will this affect our lives?”

“I’m not going to lie, it will be stressful and emotional. I’ll give you both some time to think and talk and do some reading about it. I’ll inform Dr Barlow back in 12 and set her up with all the information she’ll need in treating you and caring for you.” He explains and sits forward in his chair. “This is the time where you will both need each other. I don’t know how severe his memory loss will be and the hijacking might trigger more severe episodes but be there for each other. That’ll be the best thing for him.”

Katniss sobs into my chest that night. We had returned from the hospital after my new prosthetic was fitted and my physio was pleased it moved well with me. Katniss at this point was already on the brink and the minute the doors to our suite closed she lost it, breaking down in the middle of the floor and me holding her like a small child.

“I can’t lose you yet.” She states. “Not yet. Not ever.”

“You won’t lose me.”

“I am. You’ll be there but it won’t be you. You’ll have forgotten everything we’ve built together, made together and achieved together.” She sobs. “You promised me.”

“I know I did.” I reply and sit up, leaning against the bedhead. “But, I can’t help what they did to me Katniss. I can’t control the deterioration of my brain. They took a hold of it then and never gave it back to me. They’ve always had control of me. Of us and I hate it. Our lives were never ours from the minute we entered the games and even decades later when we thought we were finally living in peace, this happens. I promised you the best I could do and I have upheld that promise for you. For our family.” I state, clutching at my hair. “I’m sorry.”

Katniss wraps her arms around my neck and buries my face into her neck as I cry. “I’m sorry Peeta. I’m so so sorry. I just wished we could be free of pain until our final breaths. I imagined us being old and grey and watching our grandchildren play in the meadow together. Now, I don’t think we’ll even get that.”

“I promise you Katniss. I’ll try.”

“I know you will.”

We calm down, sink back onto the soft mattress and stare at the ceiling.

“We should wait until after the wedding to tell the kids.”

“Are you sure Peeta?”

I nod. “I don’t want to ruin Willow’s day, make her worry about me. She’s already stressed enough with the wedding and the baby. One thing at a time.”

“We do have to tell them.” Katniss states. “We can’t lie to them.”

“We’re not lying, just withholding the truth for a little while.”

“This is going to break them all.”

“Our children are strong. They’ll survive this.”

* * *

 Jasmine and Rye meet us at the station on Sunday afternoon. Jasmine embraces us the second we step onto the platform.

“I missed you both.”

“It’s only been a few days.” Katniss says into her daughter’s light brown hair, which has been braided in an intricate braid around her head. “But we missed you both so much. It was too long.”

We go to Willow’s for dinner and remain silent about my current prognosis. I show off my new prosthetic, telling them they’ve given it a rest of life guarantee and I hear Katniss choke back a sob.

“Mom, you alright?” Willow asks.

“I am. Just tired is all.”

“Shall we head on home then?”

“I’ll walk Mom home.” Jasmine offers. “You and Rye stay for a little while longer.”

I kiss Jasmine and Katniss goodbye and tell Willow and Rye about how Effie is going and mention her upcoming project.

“I think it’ll be good.” Willow agrees. “No one has gone through as much as the children of the Victor’s. No matter how old we all are, we’ve experienced a lot.”

“Willow is right. I want to do it too.”

“Well Effie will speak to you when she’s visiting for the wedding. She’s excited for this and wants to do a good job on it.”

Rye and I walk home together, fists pressed deep inside my jeans.

“Dad, you’re not telling me something.” Rye claims. “Whatever it is, can you just say?”

“Ok but you have to promise me, you’ll keep this a secret? No telling your sisters because they’ll worry too much about it.”

Rye nods and we sit down on the steps of the rotunda. The night sky is starting to fill with stars and the moon beginning to take centre stage.

“My neurologist has discovered my memory is fading, rapidly.”

“What?”

“I’ve been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Early on-set. It’ll affect my memory, communication and my basic thought.”

“How did this happen?”

“They believe it was the hijacking. That trauma to my brain. The altering of my memories they believe has triggered this. They can’t be too sure because there has never been someone who experienced it and survived.”

“Dad, I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t say anything just yet. We’re going to tell the girls after the wedding.”

“This is so fucking unfair.”

“Rye.”

“You and Mom can never catch a fucking break. It’s supposed to be a happy time for you both, seeing Willow get married, becoming grandparents, watching Jasmine and I grow up. It’s so fucking unfair.”

“There’s nothing that you can do Rye.”

“I know it just fucking sucks.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about dad. Nothing to be sorry about.” He states. “I just wish you got a better life.”

I just embrace him and let him cry into my chest.

He hugs his mother tightly when we get home and apologises before he heads upstairs to bed.

“He knows?”

I nod, confirm this and hug Katniss.

“Stay with me.” I plead.

“Always.”

* * *

 “Looks perfect.” I tell Theo, admiring the cupcakes he’s created for the wedding. I was creating the cake from scratch and almost had completed it.

“I can’t believe she’s getting married.” Theo says.

“I know. It’s so strange.”

He’s watched Willow grow up from a newborn to the young adult she is now. Willow sees him like an uncle figure. And Theo sees her like a niece.

“Do you feel old enough to have a married daughter?”

“Not at all, still feels like yesterday that I was holding her for the first time.”

I return to my station out the back and focus on the wedding cake.

Willow and Jacob were bringing traditions from their home district for the wedding. They’d have the toasting with just close family after the ceremony. They’d have a ceremony like in District 10 in front of many guests and then feast and dance long into the night before they build a fire and toast bread over the fire. Home traditions were important to them both and they agreed early on to incorporate them both. And with the free travel between the districts, many traditions were now being shared and undertaken for weddings.

Katniss and I had been to a wedding with traditions from every single District now and it was lovely to experience this, especially now as the toasting ceremony was slowly starting to fade out.

But the toasting had been a top priority for Willow, she felt strong about continuing past traditions, ones that tied her back to 12.

And the three-finger salute, people weren’t as afraid to use it anymore. It now carried the traditional meaning.

“Peet?”

“Yeah!”

“Katniss is on the phone.”

I wipe my hands and head to my office.

“Hi.”

_“Where are you?”_

“I’m working on the cake. Why?”

_“You were supposed to get Johanna and her family from the train.”_

“Shit. I’ll go and get them now.”

_“Don’t worry about it. They’re already here.” Katniss tells me. “Peeta, are you all right?”_

“I honestly just forgot.” I admit to her. “I was working on the cake and…”

_“It’s alright Peeta. It’s all right. Come home soon, yeah? We’ve got that dinner Effie and Haymitch are putting on in fifteen minutes.”_

“Ok.”

The cake is as good as it can be. Perfect in my eyes and I pack up for the day, telling Theo I’ll see him in the morning.

I head on home, cursing myself for forgetting and walk on home.

“Oh there he his. Thanks for forgetting about us.” Johanna teases from the front porch of Haymitch’s.

“Sorry, I’ve been so focused on the cake.”

“Katniss said. Don’t worry about it.” She tells me with a smile. “It’s a big weekend for your family.”

I nod a thanks and head inside to change out of my work clothes. Katniss comes and finds me and pats the space beside her on the bed. I sit down beside her.

“I’m so sorry Katniss.”

“It’s not your fault Peeta.” She reminds me. “I just told Johanna you were tied up with the cake.”

I kiss her cheek and slip into my shoes.

“Katniss?”

“Yeah?”

“Could you possibly write down everything I need to do tomorrow? Just a checklist as such.”

“Of course I can.”

“And maybe in the order they should be done?”

She nods, fighting to frown and I kiss her on the lips. “Come on, we have a party to attend.”

I stick by her side for the night and catch up with all of our old friends who have come for the wedding. We speak with Jacob’s family and friends and finally sit down for the meal. Effie has been here since Monday afternoon and has made herself at home.

“Come on Willow, a celebratory glass to toast.” Johanna says, thrusting a filled champagne glass into her hand.

“No, Johanna, I’m fine.”

“Come on, it’s a big occasion, you’re getting married tomorrow.”

“No, I don’t want any.”

“I’m not taking no for an answer.” Johanna tells her.

“Jo, leave her alone.” Katniss says.

“She’s not a child anymore Katniss.”

“I know she’s not but she’s old enough to make her own decision.”

“And she’s old enough for a glass. Just one Willow.”

“I’m pregnant!” Willow announces aloud to all the guests.

Everyone goes silent for a second to let the words sink in before they’re congratulating the expectant couple.

“Congrats Momma.” Johanna says, embracing our daughter. “And I so totally knew, I just wanted to see you cave.”

“You’re evil.” Willow tells her with a smirk.

“How far along are you?”

“We’ve just reached 14 weeks.” Willow says, placing a hand on her stomach. “It was a complete surprise but we’re happy.”

I smile widely and let Katniss sit on my lap as everyone celebrates to the impending baby as well as the wedding. Our daughter was radiant. She was glowing and much like Katniss had been in the early weeks.

We leave the party early, taking Jasmine, Rye and Johanna’s two teenage daughters, Phoebe and Evelyn.

“It’s starting.” I admit to Katniss as we lay in bed.

“I know. It’s been happening for a long while now.” She says. “I’ve noticed a lot of moments in the last five weeks and even from before.” She sighs. “But I’ll be here for you Peeta.”

There’s a note sitting on my bedside when I wake. My whole day on this piece for paper. I pocket it and quietly thank Katniss as I climb out of bed.

We close the bakery early, the townsfolk understanding and wishing me luck for the day. I thank each of them, especially for the big effort they’ve put in to creating the square into the perfect wedding reception location. It was the day they’d all been waiting for and everyone volunteered to make it perfect. Some of the town were in the meadow preparing that for the afternoon ceremony.

I wrap the loaf for the toasting and leave Theo, Lindsey and Drake to do lock up. They had all started early to help with the final preparations of rolls, sweets and todays normal orders.

I drop by Willow and Jacob’s house, greeting the groomsman and handing over the load of bread.

“See you in a few hours Jacob.”

“You too.”

I leave him and round the corner before taking out my note, crossing off that job.

_12 to 1pm – go to Haymitch’s, have some lunch and start getting ready for the wedding._

I head on home, cutting through the meadow to make sure it is perfect for my daughter. The wedding arch is standing and the way my daughter asked for it. It’s perfect.

I slice the bread for lunch for Haymitch and I and we eat sandwiches and play a game of chess. We were running on time.

“Haym, there’s something I’ve been keeping from you.” I tell him as I move my knight.

“What is it? You can tell me.”

“I’ve been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s.”

“What? Are you serious?”

I nod. “The trauma the memory part of my brain has gone through, they believe has been the trigger.”

“I’m so sorry son.”

“We haven’t told the girls yet, we were waiting until after the wedding.”

“Rye knows?”

“I told him when we got home. He knew something was wrong.”

“You’ll have me, Peeta. My support throughout this.” He tells me.

“Thank you.”

“How fast is it progressing?”

“Fast. Faster than they’d like.” I say.

“Beetee felt something like this would happen, long term memory loss at a later stage but not this sudden. And I had been watching for signs and symptoms and I have noticed certain things in the last few weeks but nothing too concerning.” He tells me. “I wish you and Katniss could catch a break.”

“Can you keep quiet until we tell the girls?”

“Of course but tell them soon, they deserve to know.”

We finish our game of chess and go to get into our suits. We tidy up our appearances and Effie comes for us with a wide smile.

“She looks gorgeous.” She tells us. “You’ll have to wait Haymitch, we’re on our way to the ceremony.”

I watch Effie link her arm through Haymitch’s and they head on to the meadow together. I walk into the house, Johanna leaving with her daughters’ and a pat on the shoulder.

“She looks beautiful.” Johanna tells me and heads off.

I head inside and turn into the living room where Willow stands with her back to me. She stares at the fireplace where a photo of Katniss and I sits from our toasting ceremony. She wears her mother’s gown. No alternations made and it fits her beautifully, even hugging the slight swell of her belly.

Cinna had created this for Katniss along with her tribute dress. He wanted Katniss to have a dress that was hers for her real wedding day. A long sleeved, deep v, backless lace chiffon dress. Katniss looked absolutely beautiful in it and he knew Willow would too.

“Willow?”

She turns around and smiles at me.

“You and Mom look so happy.” She says. “I hope Jacob and I will be this happy.”

“You will be. I already see it.”

I kiss her cheek, careful to not mess up the makeup Effie applied. I feel the tears spring in my eyes.

“You look just like your mother did thirty years ago.”

“Really?”

“Yes. So beautiful. Jacob is going to fall head over heels for you.”

“Thanks Daddy.”

“Let’s get you married baby girl.”

“Dad, I’m 21.”

“And you’ll always be my baby.” I see her eyes fill with tears and kiss her forehead. “No tears. Effie will kill me if I mess up you’re makeup.”

“I swear it’s these pregnancy hormones.” She smiles. “Dad, with your speech, you can mention the baby if you like, I don’t mind.”

Katniss, Rye and Jasmine appear and we share a quick embrace.

“Here’s your speech.” Katniss says, holding out my speech. I place it inside of my suit jacket and kiss her on the cheek. She’s looking beautiful as well in her soft green gown.

Jasmine wears a yellow gown that is appropriate and brings out her natural beauty. Willow’s other bridesmaid and maid of honor is giving us a moment alone as a family.

“I’m still trying to fathom the fact that you’re getting married. You three have grown up so quickly, it’s crazy to think you three are no longer our babies. You’re growing up, almost finished school, creating a life for yourself, expecting your own baby and starting your own family.” Katniss says, sniffling. “We love you three so much, we’re thankful for you all coming into our lives and blessing us with so much love and life. And no matter what, you’ll still be our babies.”

“Mom.”

“It’s true.” She states with a slight chuckle. “Okay, let’s get you married Willow.”

Rye walks Katniss to the meadow and Jasmine and Avery hold Willow’s train up while I lead her to the meadow. She carries her bouquet of wildflowers and smiles widely, touching her stomach.

We hear the music the closer we get to the harpist and I feel my heart beat faster inside of my chest. We slow down as we approach the meadow and Jasmine and Avery let go of the train and each kiss Willow’s cheek. The music changes to the traditional wedding march song and Jasmine, followed by Avery walk to the wedding arch.

“Ready?” I ask Willow.

She nods and we head down the down to the wedding arch. The same location where we picnicked for years as a family. The guests turn to watch us and greet us all with their wide smiles. The whole of the district was here to celebrate.

The look on Jacob’s face is enough to make me know this is the man for her. The man who’ll treat her with so much love and respect for the rest of their lives together.

I smile at Katniss and Rye who wait at the front and watch my wife dab at her eyes. I hand my daughter over to her future husband with a kiss on her cheek and return to Katniss, wrapping and arm around her shoulders.

The ceremony is beautiful.

There are no other words to describe it.

And I’m glad I get to see it because I’ll possibly never watch Rye or Jasmine marry or be coherent enough to truly understand the situation.

I take it all in.

Katniss kisses my cheek once my daughter and her husband share their first kiss.

“I hope you never forget this Peeta.” She whispers to me.

“I’ll try not to.”

The reception is in full swing by the time we arrive. The District band leading the guests to the dance floor. If one tradition we haven’t lost is our ability to dance.

The dinner is cooking nicely and everyone else in the district has contributed to the feast at their own pleasure. They were more than happy to provide a dish for the wedding.

Willow and Jacob are yet to arrive, going off for some private portraits together. Jasmine shyly dances with a boy from school and Rye speaks to Lindsey. His approach to life had changed since I told him my diagnoses and he’s trying to seize the day and have no regrets or feel like he’s missed out on moments in life.

“Would you like to dance?” I ask Katniss.

She takes my hand and I lead her to the floor, we move slowly to the music and together we laugh recalling our wedding night, the burnt dinner and the smell that lingered in the house for weeks after. The bump on her head from where I tripped and dropped her as I carried her across the threshold, my over eagerness getting the best of me as was my prosthetic was also to blame. We also nearly set our house on fire as we made love on the floor once everyone left and I threw my shirt into the fireplace.

It was a memorable night.

“We’ll have to record all these things because I won’t be able to trust them to memory.”

“They are recorded.” She reminds me. “But we’ll start a new book filled with everything and I’ll read it to you everyday when you wake up and forget.”

I kiss her deeply as everyone else dances around us. Christopher Odair comes beside us with his four year old daughter on his feet.

“Hey, there are children around.” He tells us and then flashes us that smile, one that is so like his father. He’s a miniature Finnick.

“Hasn’t stopped us before.” I throw back and he chuckles, throwing his head back as he leads his daughter away.

We sit down for dinner and enjoy the company of everyone.

“Ready for your speech Dad?” Rye asks.

I nod. “Will you come with me to get her cake?”

Rye follows me to the bakery and we load the cake onto a trolley to wheel it to the party. We gather the pastries and sweets and place those on the empty tables before going back for the cake. Willow wraps me in her arms to thank me and kisses my cheek.

“It’s marvellous Dad.”

“Anything for you Willow.” I tell her and someone taps their glass to gain the attention of all the guests.

Willow takes her seat back beside Jacob and I stand before the guests. I can do this without my speech. I clear my throat and smile at them all.

“Willow. You’ll always be my baby girl, despite you not. Today I stand before my daughter. My adult daughter. My daughter who in November will welcome her own child.” I announce to everyone with a proud smile. “I still remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. You’re mother and I had picnicked in the meadow that day, sat amongst the bright yellow dandelions. We felt you stirring, watched the clouds, talked to you and told you it was all right for you to arrive despite how scared we were. How anxious and worried that it’d all be taken away too soon? It was a warm April day. The sky was the bluest sky we had seen in almost eight months. The last blue sky we saw was the day we found out your mother was carrying you. It was comforting the blue of the sky. We returned home and a few hours later we were holding you in our arms. I held you at sunrise, showed you the singing birds and the rising sky. You wrapped your tiny fist around my finger and I knew, right then, everything was all right. I knew we’d be fine because you were our dandelion in the spring. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. And life has gone on. We’ve been blessed with you, your brother and sister. You three have tamed us, taught us and reminded us of how good it is to love something with so much unconditional love.”

“My baby girl. You may be grown now but you’ll always be my baby. My little girl who wore her hair in two braids, sung to the birds, kissed away the tears and the nightmares. Who cried when she was taken into the woods for the first time and watched her mother fire an arrow at a turkey. Who embraced her younger brother and sister with so much love and grace. And who almost snuck her baby sister to school for show and tell. Who cried when she found out who her parents were and how they shaped her future. Who used to get her brother and sister to sneak her cookies when she was in timeout. Who ran all the way home the first day she kissed a boy just to tell me and we danced around the kitchen together. Or the day she came home and told me she was in love.” I smile. “You’ll always be my baby girl and even when you have your first child and I see you holding him or her in your arms, I’ll still think of you as my baby. Enjoy the journey Willow and embrace everything it brings you.”

Willow embraces me for minutes after, sobbing into my shirt.

“No tears sweet girl.”

“I was so lucky to get you as my father.”

I suddenly feel guilty for not telling her that her father will not be the same man for much longer.

But I won’t spoil her day. Today was about her and the celebration of her union to her husband.

I can’t get emotion at the fact that my coherence will be long gone very soon and this will be like a dream.

Katniss is the one to comfort me in bed, holding me as I sob into her neck.

“I wish we got better Peeta. I wish we got at least another ten years then maybe you’d see Rye and Jas marry and maybe more of our grandchildren.”

“Maybe in another life we’d get a better run at this.” She says a few minutes later. “Maybe one day…”

* * *

 By the time Willow and Jacob return from their honeymoon, we sit all the kids down in the living room.

“What’s wrong?” Willow asks, cradling her belly which has grown in the two and a half weeks since her wedding. She can now feel butterflies in her stomach and tells us she’s carrying twins.

“Are one you sick?” Jasmine asks looking between me and her mother.

I swallow the lump in my throat. She was always too smart for her own good.

“Yes.” I admit and tell them my prognosis.

“Will any of us be at risk of getting it?”

“No. They think it’s related to my hijacking.”

“Dad, I’m so sorry.” Willow sniffles, crossing the room to hug me. “I’m so sorry you can’t catch a break.”

“It’s ok.”

“I’ve noticed things.” Jasmine admits. “You forgot my friend last week, reintroduced yourself to her. You’ve clumsily forgotten where things go in the pantry and words of certain things. Why didn’t you say anything dad?”

“I wanted to focus on the wedding before I told you all. I didn’t want to put a downer to the day.”

“Dad, you still should have told us.” Willow claims. “You’re health is more important than my wedding.”

“Your health is much more important now, especially with those babies. You don’t need the added stress.”

“So what can we do?” Jacob asks.

“Nothing.”

“We can support him. Be there for him. Make things easier for him.” Katniss tells them. “We mostly love him.”

* * *

 “Peeta, what’s going on with the bread?” Theo asks from the doorway to his office. “They’re hard lumps of unusable bread.”

“I don’t know. I made it the way I remember.”

Theo looks around behind him before stepping inside the office, closing the door behind him.

“Peeta, what’s going on? We’re getting complaints, orders are wrong, the bread isn’t like it used to be and our orders are always late.”

“I have a lot on my mind is all?”

“Is everything alright? Do you need help with anything? You know I can help with the paperwork and ordering. I know what to do.”

“I’ve been working through some medical stuff is all.”

“Since you’re trip back from the Capitol, I’ve noticed something has been wrong. You can tell me.”

“I’m working through it.”

“Peeta, just tell me what’s wrong.”

I inhale a deep breath. Theo knows what happened to me. He knows everything and has dealt with a fair share of my episodes.

“I have Alzheimer’s.” I confess to him. “Early onset. It’s developed within the last year and my memory is starting to go, quickly. I don’t know how much longer I have until I’m incoherent.”

“Peeta, I’m so sorry.”

“I’d like to stay on for as long as I can.”

“Of course.”

* * *

“Where have you been?” Katniss asks in a hushed whisper as I enter the house. She sits on the bottom steps in her pyjamas. It’s late.

“I went and had a drink with Thom.”

“You were supposed to be home hours ago. We were having dinner with Leni and Boris next door.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot.”

“Peeta.”

I brush her off and head for the kitchen. She follows behind me and points to the note I left behind.

“You forgot this this morning.” She tells me. “This is your lifeline Peeta. Your memory bank. If you forget this then you forget where you’re supposed to be and leave me worried sick for hours.”

“Do you know what it feels like to have this disease? Do you know what it feels like to rely on a schedule my wife writes out for me because I can’t remember how to go about my day anymore? I feel reduced, like I’m nothing anymore but a child who has to be told what to do. I hate it. I hate that this is happening to me and I wish I could stop it. It’s like my brain is no longer a part of my body and everything is just hanging in front of me but I can’t understand or make sense of what to do next. It’s horrible.”

I sob into her shoulder as she comforts me. “I know. I’m so sorry. It’s just everything is falling apart so quickly, I just wish it wasn’t for all our sake.”

“Please stay with me.”

“Always.”

* * *

  ** _What is your oldest daughter’s name?  
_**_Willow_

 **_When is your birthday?  
_ ** _April_

 **_Who is your wife?  
_ ** _Katniss_

“Have a lovely day.” I say to Mrs Atkins.

She heads off into the warm summer’s day and I throw over the cloth to protect the bread from the lingering flies and go to help Rye.

He’s taken to taking over the bakery well. He’s never been too good of a baker but he has a business mind and can run it from that side. And with a booming business we could afford extra staff to bake and run the business.

“Are you understanding it?”

“Yeah I am. It’s quite easy, Mom explained it to me last night and now seeing it… I can do this dad.”

“I know you can.”

He’s graduated from school and will be 18 next month. There the business will be signed over to him.

“Thank you for doing this Rye.”

“Anything for you Dad. I know I was hesitant but I think I’ll like this.”

“It’ll give you time to still hunt. This is a lenient career, you might be able to pick something else up, just means you’ll be busier at night but see how you go.”

He leaves me halfway along the path home to go and see his friend and I continue on home. The house is quiet, Katniss and Jasmine nowhere to be seen.

Haymitch finds me on the back porch sketching and we sit in silence together. Haymitch reading a book and myself creating my wife on my parchment paper.

“How’d Rye go?”

“He’s got his mother’s business brain. He’s going to make a fine business owner.”

“Posy will do the paperwork?” He asks.

“She will. She’s got the contract written up and ready to sign on the 10th of July.” Posy had become a lawyer and was a damn good one as well.

“How do you feel about signing it off?”

“It’s best to be done now than later when I can’t comprehend it.”

“You’re making the right choice Peeta.” He tells me. “Now when is Jasmine’s birthday?”

“December 12th.”

“Do you think Jasmine will go into the business side of it?”

“She’s set on becoming a teacher.”

“She’d make a nice teacher.” Haymitch smiles. “Your anniversary?”

“April 6th.”

* * *

The bracelet digs into my wrist, forming an indentation.

_Memory Impaired_

I twist it around a few times before I stand up from the couch and step onto the balcony. The fresh sea air blows and I inhale the salty air.

Katniss recommended a little getaway, just the two of us to make a few memories and reminisce before I forget.

She’s downstairs on the sand, watching the waves roll onto the shore.

I’ve handed over my responsibilities to Rye. Katniss has taken charge of being my carer, dedicating herself to me.

I know she feels responsible despite none of it being her fault at all.

I head down the stairs and step onto the sand, making my way to her. I kiss her cheek and sit beside her, spreading my legs out in front of me.

“This is nice.”

“It is.”

We stopped coming here a few years ago when her mother passed away. Katniss finding it too painful after twenty-five years of vacationing here and having made strong amends with her mother. We watched the kids grow up here, playing on the sandy shoreline and making memories we could have only dreamt of as children.

Annie had called Katniss and invited us here. She was home alone nowadays and wanted the company of adults. Her grandchildren were enough to entertain her of a day when they stayed but she needed someone at night.

And it was nice to be in Annie’s company.

“What time are we going for dinner?” I ask.

“6.”

She snuggles closer to me and leans her head on my shoulder. I stare at the waves for a few more moments.

“What time are we going for dinner?” I ask.

“6 o’clock.”

“And is your mother meeting us?”

“No.” She tells me. “My mother died three years ago.”

“I knew that. Sorry.”

“It’s Ok.” She says. “Want to take a walk?”

“Sure, let me go to the bathroom.”

I leave her and jog up to the house. A photo of our family and Annie’s sits on the bookshelf and I pick it up, carrying it to the back porch to look at it.

“Peeta?” Katniss calls.

“Right. Give me a second.”

I place it back on the bookshelf and look around the bottom floor. I feel dizzy and my breathing pick up a few paces as I open doors.

Pantry. Laundry. Front door. Laundry. Study. Pantry. Cupboard.

I stop, feeling warmth run down the insides of my legs and feel the tears well in my eyes.

“Peeta?” Katniss says softly.

I turn around to face her slowly and she registers the shock look on my face.

“It’s Ok. We’ll get you upstairs and cleaned up.” She tells me, moving towards me and grabbing my elbow. “Accidents happen.”

“Where am I?” I ask her as tears fall down my cheeks. “I don’t know where I am.”

“You’re safe.” She says, trying to not choke on her words. “You’re in District 4. In Annie’s house. You’re safe.”

“I don’t know where I am.”

* * *

“Daddy, I’m off to school now.” Jasmine tells me. She’s bundled in her winter coat. The winter has come early this year and everything is icy and frigid in the middle of October.

“Ok. Do you need me to pick you up?”

“I can walk home by myself Daddy.” She tells me with a laugh. “I’ll see you this afternoon.”

She kisses my cheek softly, throwing her bag over her shoulder and leaving for the day. Katniss is out in the woods and Rye at the bakery having left not long ago.

The phone rings and I go to answer it.

“Hello?”

_“Hi Peeta, it’s Effie. How are you dear?”_

“Good and you?”

_“Good. I’m just letting you know I’ve sent something through for the kids. It’s for their contribution to the book. They know what to do with it. It should be there by lunchtime.”_

“I’ll pass it along to them.”

_“Thank you.” She says. “I’m headed out your way in a few weeks. Do you guys need anything?”_

“We’re fine but I’ll be sure to ask Katniss.”

_“Did you want me to ring her later?”_

“Ef, I’m not that impaired. I can remember…” I say trailing off.

_“Peeta?”_

“Just joking with you. Can’t I make fun of my illness?”

_“Boy, you’ll give me a heart attack.”_

“I’ll write it down right now for Katniss. Do we need anything from the Capitol as Effie is visiting shortly.” I say, writing down the message on a note and sticking it to the board Katniss installed above the phone for important messages and reminders for me.

_“Thank you. I’ve got to go but I’ll talk to you later.”_

“Bye Effie.”

Katniss finds me in the bathroom later on, her nose and cheeks are pink from the cold and I kiss them, bringing warmth back to them.

“Thank you.”

I kiss her cold lips and pull her against my body with the ends of her scarf. She moans and I pull us towards the bed.

“I like having a child free home.” I tell her, pushing her against the mattress.

She smiles and I kneel down to take off her socks. She peels off her scarf and her sweater and unbuttons her pants.

I peel them down her legs and do the same for myself.

I knew these moments would become fewer and fewer and for Katniss’ sake I wanted to give her as much love and comfort.

She runs her fingers along the panes of my back as we try to keep our eyes open.

I peak them open, staring at my wife and smile. She’s always been so beautiful in the afterglow.

I kiss her forehead and pull her tighter to my body.

I never wanted to let her go.

“I wish I could freeze time.” I mumble.

“Me too. Right here, right now.”

“Forever.” We say together.

* * *

 “Peeta.”

“Hmm?”

“Wake up.” Katniss whispers.

“What’s wrong?”

“Get dressed and meet me downstairs.”

It’s early as we walk to town. The cold air bites at our exposed skin and but we march on.

“Where are we going?” I ask her.

“I have a surprise.” She tells me.

I swallow the lump in my throat and feel the nerves fill my stomach. We wave to those workers heading on to work and Katniss leads me to our destination.

The path turns familiar and I halt, stopping.

“Why are we going here?” I ask her.

She cups my face in her hands and smiles from ear to ear.

“Trust me. Ok?”

I hesitate before I nod my head. She takes my hand and walks me through the front doors of the hospital. We greet the front desk attendant and head on through to the far wing, the most opposite to my usual doctor’s location.

I smile as we head down the hallway and look into one of the rooms. Katniss knocks on the glass and our eldest daughter looks up at as and waves us in.

“Hi baby girl.” Katniss greets her, kissing her cheeks and embracing her. “Where’s Jacob?”

“Getting the babies.” Willow answers with a wide smile and looks around her mother to me. “Hi daddy.”

“Hi sweetie.” I smile and embrace her. “You look wonderful.”

“I feel wonderful.”

Jacob enters the room with the two babies in his arms and boasts a wide smile.

Katniss is quick to embrace him and view the babies.

My grandchildren.

I sit beside Willow on the bed and she grasps my hand.

“So?” Katniss asks.

“Boy and a girl.” Willow announces as Jacob hands one of the babies to his wife and then the other to my wife. “Mom you have Violet Jean.”

“After my mother?”

“Yes. She’s a Violet, no doubt about it.” Willow tells her, sniffling. “And after Jacob’s mother.”

“It’s beautiful.” Katniss tells her and cradles her granddaughter close to her chest, inhaling the baby smell and taking in all the features.

“And dad, this is Benjamin Peeta.”

“After Jacob’s grandfather and me.” I say aloud and kiss her cheek again. “Thank you.” I whisper to her and she nods, understanding how much I mean it.

“After our grandparents and parents.” Willow confirms. “Sorry Mom.”

“No need to apologise.” Katniss tells her. “Maybe there’ll be another baby to name after me.” She teases.

Willow smiles and then looks up at me, noticing the way I trace my grandson’s hand and cheeks.

“Would you like to hold him Dad?”

“Is that a good idea?” Jacob asks.

“I know how to hold I baby.” I remind him, trying to not show the hurt at his comment.

“My father is more than capable Jacob.” Willow tells him firmly. “Ready dad?”

I nod and let her lower Benjamin into my arms. I cradle him gently and take in everything of my grandson, hoping to recreate him in a drawing when I get home.

“Hi Ben, I’m your Pop and I may not be fully around when you grow older but I’ll try my best. My very best to be there for you and your sister. I want you to know how much I love even if I forget who you are or your name. You’ll be more than a fading memory.”

* * *

“You don’t know me at all!”

“Jasmine!” Katniss scolds.

“No Mom, he doesn’t.”

I cower into the chair even more as I listen to Jasmine and Katniss argue over me.

“Jasmine, stop being so rude. Apologise to him.”

“He read my journal. How does he not know how personal that is?” She cries. “And now he thinks he understands me just because he read my journal. It’s not fair Mom.”

“Jasmine, go to your room.”

“I’m going to Haymitch’s.”

“No, you’re room.”

“I’m going to Haymitch’s until I get an apology.” She says and turns on her heel, ripping her coat from the hook and running out the back door.

“What did I do?” I ask Katniss.

Katniss exhales and turns to face me. “Nothing. She’s just a teenager.”

“You told me to read one of her school books.”

“I know I did. I’m sorry.”

“Will she forgive me?”

“Of course she will. She loves you too much to be mad at you.” She reassures me. “Why don’t you give me a hand with dinner.”

She lets me chop the vegetables while she prepares the meat. We work in a comfortable silence and I focus on the task of chopping.

“You Ok over there?” Katniss asks me.

“I am.” I tell her. “I can’t wait to see the babies.”

They were now four weeks old and chubby little things. Katniss takes me to visit them everyday and Willow lets me hold them in the quiet of their nursery bonding with them. She leaves me alone and I cradle both babies as they sleep soundly in my arms. Some times I leave them in their bassinet and just watch them sleep.

Willow understands how important this is for me.

The babies sleep in a cradle in the living room while we eat dinner.

“What’s wrong with you Jas?” Willow asks. “Boy trouble?”

“No.” She huffs.

“Then what is it? Can’t you at least show a bit of enthusiasm?”

“Willow, leave her alone.” Haymitch tells her.

I’ve learnt to never tell my daughter’s to leave each other alone.

A full-blown argument breaks out between everyone at the table and I turn to Jasmine.

“We had a fight.” I say quietly.

“Yes.”

“What about?” I ask her. “I can’t remember.”

She shakes her head and leans forward. “It’s irrelevant dad.” She tells me. “I’m sorry for snapping at you?”

“You did?”

“I’m sorry.”

She helps me change the babies’ diapers, leaving everyone else alone.

“Tell me what it’s like dad?” She asks me. “I want to understand what you’re going through better and learn to not snap at you for things.”

“Some days I wake up and it takes me a while to realise where I am.” I tell her as I lift Violet into my arms, bouncing her slightly. “It’s different to when I was hijacked. The hijacking was different, altered memories had a shiny effect to them almost like they were too good to be true. Now, memories are dark. My mind is like a cloud of fog that just won’t clear. Words, moments, memories hang in front of me but I can’t grasp them, comprehend them as they slip away.”

“Is this better than the altered memory though?”

“I prefer the loss of memory, the altered memories really destroyed everything I shared with your mother. It was heartbreaking.” I admit to her. “If I could wish for one thing to disappear first and forever would be the hijacking and how I treated your mother. That’s something I’ll never forgive myself for.”

“Dad, Mom understands.”

“I know she does but I still can’t.”

“You need to forgive yourself before you truly forget because Mom doesn’t want you carrying around this guilt you can’t answer to.”

“You’ve been too smart for your own good.”

“I learnt from the best.” She tells me with a small smile. “Dad, I love you.” She tells me getting choked up.

“I love you to Jasmine.” I tell her. “I always will.”

* * *

 “There she is.” Katniss whispers to me as Jasmine takes the stage. It was District 12’s Christmas pageant and Jasmine had the staring role.

I’m taken on a journey by her acting, her beauty and charisma.

Haymitch and Rye cheer for the actors at the very end, cheering loudly.

“Go Jasmine!”

Katniss stands beside me, cheering as well and I look around before standing up and clapping for the cast.

I follow behind Katniss as we head to the classrooms where the dressing rooms were located.

“Well done my beautiful.” Haymitch says to brunette girl.

“Thanks Haym.”

“Well done sis.” Rye says smiling at the girl.

“You were beautiful, we might need to consider a career in entertainment, hey Peeta?”

“What?” I ask Katniss.

“Jasmine, she’s got talent.”

I smile at the teenager and take her hand. “Well done. How long are you here for?”

“Dad, this is Jasmine.” Willow tells me.

I stare into the grey eyes of the teenager and see the tears well in them.

It’s the first time I’ve seen someone so heartbroken.

* * *

  ** _What is your oldest daughter’s name?_**

_Willow_

_**When is your birthday?  
** April_

**Who is your wife?**  
Kat  
Katherine  
Katrina

_Katniss Everdeen_

“Did you think he’d deteriorate this quickly?” Katniss asks my doctor the week later. Christmas has come and gone and we took the next available appointment.

“No.” She replies with as much professionalism as she can compose. “But this is new terrain, we have nothing to work off.”

“He…” Katniss begins to say but chokes on her words. “He’s beginning to deteriorate so fast before all our eyes.”

“I know. This is the hard part.”

“He’s forgetting the word for names or objects. He forgot who Jasmine was. He’s had moments when he’s forgotten who I was when he first wakes up. He’s starting to forget the meaning of words. Where he is.”

“There’s nothing we can do Katniss. I’m so sorry.”

“So we have to watch him fade into nothing. He’ll be here but he won’t really be?”

“I’m afraid so. It might be time to look into carers, maybe even further help…”

“You’re suggesting a home for him?” Katniss asks. “He’s too young to sit in an aged home. I’m not sending him to one.”

“Katniss, we should talk about this.” I tell her.

“No Peeta, when things get hard we promised each other we’d be there for each other. We promised we’d not give up. I’m not giving up on you. You’ve still got so much fight to give.”

I nod and kiss the back of her hand.

“You two should prepare yourselves and your family for the fact that Peeta won’t be comprehensive by this time next year.”

* * *

**_What is your oldest daughter’s name?  
_ ** _Willow_

 _**When is your birthday?  
** _ _Ahperal_

_**Who is your wife?  
** Katniss_

I climb out of bed, careful to not jostle Katniss. I reach for my crutch and search the room for my journal.

My studio is turned upside down. The kitchen is turned upside down.

“Peeta, what’s wrong?” Katniss asks as she rushes into the kitchen, wrapping her gown around her body.

“I can’t find it.”

“What can’t you find?” She asks.

“My journal.”

“We’ll find it in the morning.”

“No, I have it at my bedside every morning to answer the questions. I need to have it now.” I tell her, emptying the utensils onto the floor.

“Mom?”

“Go back to bed Rye.”

“Is he alright?”

“Go back to bed.”

“I need my journal.”

“I’ll ask you the questions in the morning dad.” Rye tells me, placing his hand on my back. “I’ll ask you them.”

I look at him, trying to figure out who he is and turn back to the pantry.

“Peeta, please come back to bed.”

“I can’t without my journal.”

“Please Peeta.” She pleads, pulling me towards her.

I stumble and Katniss and the boy catch me, setting me on the floor gently as I sob.

Warm arms embrace me as I sob, clutching at my hair. My breathing becomes rapid and I struggle to get even breaths in.

“Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” The boy urges me. “Come on, in and out.”

I focus on his words mostly and feel Katniss grasps my hand.

“That’s it.” The boy says as I control my breathing. “I’ll ask you the questions in the morning. I promise.”

I look into his grey eyes and nod. “Ok.”

“Come on, let’s get you up to bed.” Katniss says.

“I’ll clean up down here.”

“Thanks Rye.”

I look at the boy and he offers me a small smile. “Night Peeta.”

“Night Rye.”

I don’t understand why Katniss cries when we finally get into bed.

“What’s wrong Katniss?” I ask her.

“Nothing Peeta.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

* * *

 “Mom?”

“In here.”

I watch as the figure passes the living room where I sit, sketching by the fireplace.

I get up and enter the kitchen to see a brunette woman stand, parking a baby stroller besides the kitchen table.

“Hi Katniss.”

The brunette turns around with a look of shock on her face, her blue eyes shining. “Dad, it’s me Willow.”

“Sorry, you just look like Katniss when she was your age.”

Katniss appears beside me, smiling at me and wraps her arm around my waist. “You always said Willow looked like me the most.”

“You do, despite the blue eyes.”

“I got those off of you.” Willow tells me. “As did your grandson, I think he looks a lot like you.”

I look into the two basinets attached to the stroller where the two babies lie.

“Whose babies are they?”

“Mine dad.”

I smile. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks dad.” She says. “Would you like some tea?”

“I’m just finishing lunch.” Katniss announces.

I nod and stare into the basinets. Both babies are fidgeting inside of their swaddles and I reach in, touching their fists gently. The baby wrapped in blue opens up its eyes, revealing the familiar blue.

“Dad, I found your journal.” Willow tells me, holding it up for me.

“Thank you, I was looking for that last night.” I tell her.

“That was a month ago.” Katniss tells Willow quietly.

“You are beautiful. You both are.” I tell the two babies who stare intensely up at me. “So beautiful. I hope you have a happy life.”

* * *

 “Dad, you ready?”

“Give me a second.” I call back to Jasmine who paces the living room.

I bend over, picking up the end of my shoelaces and stare at them, feeling the plastic on the ends and wondering what this is for.

“Dad?”

I look up to see Jasmine standing there. She can’t take no for an answer.

“Are you OK?” She asks me.

I stare down at my shoes and then up at my daughter.

“Shoelaces are tricky dad. It took me a while to remember what to do.” She tells me, kneeling before me.

She slowly shows me what to do on both shoes before double knotting them. “Good thing they make Velcro straps now. We might have to look at the store today for a pair for you. I think I saw a nice pair in the town yesterday.” She smiles. “Come on, we’ve got a date in the meadow.”

* * *

  ** _What is your oldest daughter’s name?_**

_?_

**_When is your birthday?  
_ ** _?_

 **_Who is your wife?  
_ ** _?_

“Happy birthday Peeta.”

I stare at the beautiful brunette who lies beside me. Her grey eyes remind me of the moon. Her hair dark like the night sky. Her skin kissed by the sun.

“Has anyone told you how beautiful you are?” I ask the woman lying beside me.

She nods and her smile grows wider. “Yes.”

I smile at her and look around the room before looking back at her.

“What’s your name?”

“Katniss.”

“And where am I?”

“District 12. You’re in your home in the Village.”

I look down at my hand and notice the gold ring on my finger.

“Who am I married to?”

“Me. We’ve been married for 31 years.”

I nod, letting those words sink in.

“And you have three children. Willow who’s 22, Rye who’s 18 and Jasmine who’s 15.”

“Do they live with us?”

“Rye and Jasmine do. Willow lives with her husband and twins.”

“I’m a grandfather?”

“You are.”

“How old are they?”

“Five months old.”

“Still young?”

“Very young, they love you so much.” She tells me. “In fact, you’ll be seeing them this afternoon.”

“Do I see them often?”

“Everyday.” She tells me, her voice cracking and I see the tears fill her eyes. “Sorry.”

She leaves the bed and runs through a door, closing it behind her.

I look around the room once again and my eyes land on a journal. I pick it up and read the front of it.

_Your name is Peeta Mellark. You live in District 12. You are married to Katniss. You have three children, Willow, Rye and Jasmine. You are a grandfather. You’re a painter. You’re a baker. You like to sleep with your windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. You always double-knot your shoelaces. You have Alzheimer’s._

I slowly rise out of bed, reaching for my crutch and walking towards the door. I knock softly on it.

“Katniss, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t.”

“Do I always make you cry of a morning?”

I hear a soft sniffle and watch as the door opens.

“Not intentionally.”

“Is this hard on you?”

“It is.”

“Why?”

“We promised each other forever and we’re not going to get forever.”

I embrace her to my chest, holding her tightly and letting her cry into the fabric of my shirt.

“I’m sorry Katniss. I’m sorry I can’t remember.”

“You have nothing too be sorry for.”

Over breakfast, my youngest, Jasmine introduces herself to me.

“I’m Jasmine.”

“You’re beautiful Jasmine. You look a lot like your mother.”

“And a little like you.” She adds with a wide smile. “Would you like me to read you your journal?”

I nod and listen to her read from my journal, the very words I wrote down before I forget. It’s short and brief and leaves me with names, thoughts and brief flashes of memories.

“Please read this to me everyday. Remind me of who I am because I am still Peeta Mellark no matter what this brain disease does. I am Peeta. I am a husband. A father. A grandfather. A survivor.”

Jasmine offers conversation over breakfast and I listen to her tell me stories of myself. It’s a surreal thing to listen to these stories and imagine myself doing these things.

She leaves shortly after she’s finished heading into town to meet her friends.

“How about a walk?” Katniss suggests.

It’s a lovely spring day, the birds sing cheerful songs and the flowers are starting to bloom.

Katniss guides me to the meadow at the end of our village and we head slowly towards one of the trees that overlooks the green field.

“Is it always this green?” I ask Katniss.

“It’s been green since forever.”

“How?”

“The vibrancy the deceased residents had, have ensured it never turns brown.”

“People are buried under here?”

“After the rebellion and everyone returned home to 12, there were a lot of people to bury. This was the most meaningful place to lay them all to rest. Here, they look over everyone and ensure we’re all safe in this new world.”

We sit down underneath the shade of the big tree and sudden warmth overcomes me. I smile widely and turn to Katniss.

“I asked you to marry me right here.” I recall.

“You did. 32 years ago.”

“We were young?”

“We were but we knew we couldn’t survive without each other. It was the right thing to do.”

“We picnicked that afternoon, watched the sunset and I asked you.”

“It was a beautiful sunset, I almost missed what you asked me.”

“You did?”

“I did. I was so transfixed by the colors, I was hardly paying attention.”

I smile at her and laugh. “What was the sunset like that day?”

“It was the end of winter, spring was starting to make its appearance. The sky just became a rainbow of colors and bright light. Purples, blues, yellows, pinks, oranges. It was spectacular.”

“I like the sunset?”

“You do. Your favourite color is a sort of sunset orange.”

“And yours is green?”

“Yes.”

“You were wearing green that day.”

“I was. You had bought me that sundress for my birthday.”

“Green suits you.”

I turn my attention to the middle of the meadow where three kids chase each other. A young girl struggling to keep up with her two sisters. I scan the meadow for their family and see their parents watching them from underneath a tree, smiling at their wonders running through the grass with dandelion seeds stuck in their hair and on their clothes.

“Did our children do that?” I ask Katniss, pointing to the children playing in the meadow.

“We came here every afternoon and let them play. We always had to tell Willow to slow down so Rye and Jasmine could catch up. It then changed to telling Rye to slow down as he moved quicker.” She tells me laughing. “You’d chase them as well.”

“Was I a good father?”

“The very best. You adored them. They adored you.” She says. “We adored them so much when they came into our lives. They’ve brought us such joy.”

She walks me a different way into town and people greet me and I politely wave and smile at them.

“Do they know?”

“They do. We tried to keep it as quiet as possible but they eventually found out, they’ve been supportive though.”

She calls into a bakery that has my name scrawled across the glass window.

“You built this business and ran it for the last thirty years. Rye is now the owner of it.” Katniss informs me before we step inside.

“Mr and Mrs Mellark, so good to see you both.” The girl behind the counter says.

“Hi Lindsey. Is Rye in?”

“I’ll go and get him.”

“Thanks.”

A blonde comes our way with a wide smile.

“Happy birthday dad.”

“Thanks.”

He whispers something to Katniss and then smiles at me.

“We just went to the meadow.” Katniss informs him. “He remembered proposing to me there.”

Rye smiles. “That’s good dad. Keep a hold of these memories for as long as you can.”

“Would you like a sweet?” Katniss asks me.

We stand before the display case and Rye goes to the other side to take them out.

“I’ll have the caramel tart.” Katniss says and turns to me. “What about you Peeta?”

“Caramel tart.”

“You usually get the apple custard.” Katniss tells me. “But only if you’d you like that?”

I nod and Rye plates them for us.

“You built this Peeta. This bakery from the ashes to how it stands today. You put so much love and devotion into this bakery.”

“I was a baker?”

“You were for most of your life.” She tells me. “You rebuilt this bakery so the District could have fresh bread as we ran out of room at home for you to bake. It was a whole town effort this.”

“And who runs it now?”

“Rye does. He’s not much of a baker though.” She laughs. “But he’s good with the business side of it. Jasmine turned out to be the baker out of the three kids but she’s more into performing than baking.”

We go to the butchers and than the green grocer before heading home.

When I wake from my nap Jasmine sits in the couch across from me, chewing the end of her pen and reading from a notebook.

“Hi dad.”

“How was your day?”

“Good Dad.”

“What’d you get up to?”

“Went swimming in the river.”

“Have a good day?”

“I did.” She smiles. “A really great day.”

I nod and smile at her. She comes and sits beside me, hugging me tightly before heading off again.

I find Katniss in the kitchen with Willow at her side.

“Smells good.”

Both the women turn around to me and I watch their smiles grow wide.

“Happy birthday Dad.” Willow says embracing me.

“Thanks Willow.”

“The babies are in the old playroom, I didn’t want to disturb you from your nap.” She tells me.

“Can I go?” I ask, pointing in the direction of the playroom.

Willow nods and I walk to the playroom. The babies lie in their mother’s old cot, sleeping soundly in the middle of the room. I find a chair, pulling it up beside the cot and sit beside them watching their chest rise and fall evenly.

They look so peaceful.

Ben wakes but doesn’t make a sound. He grips his socked foot and brings it to his mouth. He spots me sitting beside the cot and smiles at me, letting go of his foot.

“Hi Ben.” I coo softly. “My beautiful boy.”

He rolls onto his side, reaching for me and I pluck him from the cot and set him on my lap, rocking us gently. He leans against my chest and doesn’t need anything more than just my comfort.

Violet wakes not long after and I spend the rest of the afternoon rocking my two grandchildren and talking to them.

“Dad, you ok?” Willow asks me.

I turn and nod at her, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Do they need a change?”

“Yeah, I was going to come and get you.”

“They look comfortable. They really do love you dad.”

“I love them a lot.”

She takes Violet and changes her diaper before she hands her back to me and takes Ben, changing him quickly. She hands Ben back to me.

“Dinner will be ready soon. I’ll come and get you.”

“Ok.”

She leaves us all alone again and I tell them about the meadow, the magical place it is.

_“I don’t think it’s wise leaving him alone with them Willow.” Jacob whispers harshly outside of the room._

_“He’s my father, it’ll break his heart if I deny him access to his grandchildren.”_

_“Get your head out of the clouds and realise he’s not fit enough to be alone with them.”_

_“I’m there mother, I know what is the best thing for them. And right now, this is the best thing for them Jacob. My father is capable. He is lucid. He’s had three children of his own. He won’t get anymore of these moments so please, don’t fucking judge my own judgement because I know what I’m doing. I’m losing a father. You don’t understand what that feels like.” Willow whispers back. “And he’s not fucking deaf, he can hear you in there. Go home if you’re going to be so negative, it’s his birthday he doesn’t need negative people here.”_

_“Fuck you Willow.”_

_“I dare you say that to me if it was your own father. You haven’t walked in my shoes to understand what I’ve been through, what my own parents have been through, what they’re going through now. You don’t understand. Grow up and stop making this all about you.”_

_“My parents lived through the rebellion.”_

_“Your parents weren’t the rebellion.” She whispers. “Please just go home, I can’t look at you right now.”_

_“I’m taking the babies.”_

_“No. They’re staying here with me and their family.”_

I clutch the babies closer to my chest and kiss the tops of their heads. They look up at me and I offer them both wide smiles.

“I love you both so much.”

Willow enters the room, wiping at her face with the sleeve of her shirt, sniffling. “Come on, dinner’s ready.”

She takes Ben and I carry Violet. I stop her before we enter the dining room and pull her into my arms.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” She whispers back and buries her nose into the crook of my neck for a couple of seconds before letting me go. “Do you think I can stay here for the night?”

I nod and wipe her cheek of the lone tear that slowly falls. I give her an encouraging smile.

My family and a few close friends sit at the table. The empty place across from Willow is noticeable but no one questions it.

I finish off my last bite of the vanilla cake Jasmine made and sit back and take in my family and friends. Watch the way they smile at each other, compliment Jasmine on the cake, hold my grandchild and engage in conversation. It’s comforting being with them all and I feel tears spring to my eyes.

I get up, excusing myself and go out onto the back porch, sitting on the steps and looking at the stars.

“Peeta?”

More tears fill my eyes and I feel the warmth of the body sit beside me, resting their hand on my thigh.

“Tell me what’s wrong?” She asks.

I turn to my wife and studying her face for a long while.

“Everything is perfect right now. It’s like, I’m not sick but I know as soon as I go to sleep, it probably won’t be the same. I’m going to forget who you are, my children, what’s wrong with me, words… everything. It’s not fair and I caused Jacob and Willow to fight because of me.” I cry out. “Is this hurting our family more than they’re letting on?”

“No. The thing with Jacob is he’s grown up spoilt. He doesn’t know what it was like for Willow growing up. Doesn’t understand the fact that her parents have gone through a lot before she was born. He doesn’t understand which is like most people.” Katniss tells me.

“He’s always been really panicky around us.”

“He knows what you went through and what I went through. He doesn’t understand time has slowly healed us and we’re not who we were when we were 17. He likes to walk on eggshells around us.”

I nod and Katniss picks up my hand.

“Willow is protective of us. She’s so protective, she has to have the last word when it comes to her family because most of the time these people aren’t right or they don’t understand. Jacob probably won’t understand and that’s fine. Willow loves him and he loves her. That’s all we can wish for.”

“He thinks I’m incapable.”

“Not now. Willow knows what she’s doing.” Katniss reassures me. “And she won’t deny you to see the babies, she knows how uplifting it is for you to see them and be around them. Soon they’ll be big enough to climb, walk and not need to be carried so you’ll still be able to interact with them.”

I chew on my lip and look out ahead of where we sit.

“Katniss?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know how many times I’ll remember to say this to you… I love you.”

“I know you do.”

“You love me?”

“Real.”

I kiss Willow goodnight, entering her old bedroom where she sleeps with the twins sound asleep beside her. She’s sound asleep herself and it reminds me of when she was a child. I go to Rye’s room next, kissing him goodnight and then Jasmine’s. I linger in their doorway as I see the tiny grins on their mouths and leave them alone for the night. Katniss is sitting up in bed with a book in her hand and I use the bathroom, swallowing the pills she’s left for me and then return to the bed, taking off my prosthetic and sliding under the covers.

“What are you reading?”

“Willow’s baby book.”

“Will you read me some of it?”

Katniss nods and I settle in beside her.

“Willow found daddy’s paints during her crawling expedition. She was gone the second I turned my back on her. She’s fast. Her clumsiness knocked the stool over, which knocked the wet palette onto the floor and she had great fun painting the floor, the stool and herself. In the space of two minutes she needed a shower and made her mommy very annoyed. But her Mommy found the funny side of it later on when she told Daddy.” Katniss reads me.

I smile from ear to ear and listen to her read more of our eldest daughter.

I kiss her deeply before she falls asleep on me and wish her a good night.

* * *

  _The Seam girl with two braids brushes past me, making her way to the front of the classroom where the teacher helps her onto the box._

_She was so shy in the schoolyard when Daddy pointed her out to me, clutching the coal miner’s overalls in her olive fist and hiding behind his long legs._

_But now the tears were cleared and she sounded like nothing I had ever heard before. I look outside to see even the birds had stopped to listen and they had. They were enchanted by her._

_And now I understood why her mommy ran off with the coal miner._

_I walked on home behind my brother’s humming to the song she sang and hoped she never met someone who made the birds fall silent when they sang._

“No one understands what it’s like to be the child of a victor more than all the contributors of this book. We all have a story, each one of us. Our parent’s are a special breed of people. They are fighters. They’ve risked everything they had for us. Their dignity, their minds, their souls and their lives. Our parents are the real heroes of the world. My parents are my heroes. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t live in the peaceful world I do now.”

I smile at the woman who just read to me. She’s beautiful, blue eyes, long chocolate hair and a heart shaped face.

“There’s more, I just think that’s enough for now.”

I nod at the woman and she passes the book off to the boy beside her.

“Life in the Mellark’s household was always the topic of question from anyone who met me, teachers, students, visitors to the district. They wanted to know how the Mellark’s lived, how they coped and if there were still ‘moments’. I didn’t understand this at first when I was little, I didn’t know what they meant until the day I learnt about the world years before I was born. I was hurt for a long time, wondering why my parents never told me or why my big sister never said anything to me. She later told me, it was best it came from mom and dad. I sat before them, listened to them, cried into my mother’s shoulder as she consoled me and I imagined the trauma they’d endured. Everything started to make sense, why my dad had a prosthetic, why mom sometimes whispered the name ‘Prim’ in her sleep, why dad clutched the back of chairs and mom couldn’t get out of bed. But I started to appreciate them and loved them a whole lot more than I realised.”

The boy stops, choking on his words and hands the book to the girl on his right. She’s like the first woman but a mixture of both the boy and the girl. She has light brown hair and blue-grey eyes.

“I’m just going to read you an exert.” The girl says aloud.

“There’s no greater accomplishment than sharing your life with another person. Another person who you can’t get enough of. Who you promise forever with. That person who helps you through nightmares, bad days and moments of confusion. People are afraid of this, letting people in and trying their hardest to not let people get under their skin. But some people have a way of making their way under your skin and become the person who you share everything with. Who you promise to not let go because you’re all each other has and needs and you realise you can only survive with that person. And then someday you decide you want to share that overwhelming love you have with that person with something else. Something you’d never imagined you’d want because of how hurt you’ve been in the past. But you open up your life, you take a plunge, a big step and there you are holding your first child. And then your second. Then your third. And you know you’re finally happy.”

I smile at the girl and she closes the book. I look beside me to a woman who smiles proudly and holds two almost toddlers on her lap. I turn my attention to the girl who smiles at me as she stands before me.

“Do you know what that was about dad?”

A strangled noise comes out first as I clock my tongue and try to round my lips.

“Ve…” I say. “Va…” The girl squeezes my hand. “Ove…”

“That’s right dad, love. It was about love.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this story. I like the idea of older Everlark with their almost grown children as much as I love younger Everlark with their young children. This was my first take on an older Everlark post canon as well. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought.
> 
> And you can come and find me on tumblr with the same username.


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